Many of us serving a life sentence committed our crimes when we were young, well before we could appreciate life or the consequences of choices.

One of the first things I had to learn 20 years ago when I came to prison was, “how do I LIVE while sentenced to die in jail?”

Finding purpose seems like a term reserved for 30 or 40 years old, but we all need purpose at every age.

Life is precious, but with all the tragedies we face, we have equal incentives to live. 17 years into my life sentence, I had a huge setback. After being told I could go home in a few years, I was told sorry, this was a mistake. I was then told I could die here again. I had to dig deep and find reasons to hold on to life. I was given a job as an ADA worker as an assistant to disabled people, and I found my reason to hold on.

I realized that no matter what I felt inside, I could bring joy or comfort to another, which made me feel better. I found my purpose, which was being of service.

A life sentence can weigh on you as a constant reminder of your past misdeeds, but I’m here to tell you: your crimes are something you did, and it’s not who you are; your time doesn’t define you. We must live with the attitude of freedom and be worthy of the freedom through our behavior today, not who we were 20 years ago. 

Recently at CSP-Corcoran in California, formerly known as one of the most violent prisons in America, we started a skateboard painting program to raise money for underprivileged kids.

I was also able to help organize a fundraiser charity for Corcoran High School’s Mecha club and Initiate Justice.org in Los Angeles, raising a combined total of $7,000. We sold pizza from little Ceaser’s to raise funds.

I committed attempted murder and got 174 years plus six life sentences. My victims support my release. Still, I am sentenced to die in prison, and today there is nothing I can do. The one thing I can control today is my attitude. And having a great attitude will help me achieve my goals. And what better way to spend my time than helping others along the way?